After some contemplation, I still haven’t an sufficient answer for why Daru said he wouldn’t take the guy to prison. Thinking about the more “life” oriented question why do we complain? It’s somewhat related to the way we deal with stress. Everyone has some sort of coping mechanism. I suppose talking about it, “complaining” if you will is one of the outlets we have. There are lots of other socially acceptable outlets, art is one of them, another one could be, what seems to be happening more and more, which is finding a form escape like (foremost of which is referenced) alcohol, drugs, some sport of sorts, and more recently the internet. It is rather easy to lose oneself in the internet; the plethora of information at one’s fingertips is astonishing. Though back to complaining, complaints are probably the easiest of outlets because we don’t have to do much, just open our mouth and say more or less what’s on our minds. No investment of time, or emotions needed, and it also is an emotional outlet because we can voice (literally and figuratively) all our frustrations. In that sense it’s probably not considered productive because you don’t really “make” anything (like with art, or say constructing something) but at least it’s an outlet that is easy to do and you can do it anywhere (say for example your emotional outlet is hiking or skiing or even something as simple as model-making, it’s not something that you can do everywhere you go). Also it’s socially acceptable and non-destructive; say for example your venting process requires adrenaline to flow through your system, a really easy way to do that is to just go steal something (now granted this is only one example there are many other “unhealthy” outlets some that are literally unhealthy and others that can become not so good for oneself and there are lots of “healthy” outlets as well). Well there are issues with that, for one it’s illegal in most places, the consequences can be severe depending on where you live and of course you might even end up with extra stuff you don’t even want but end up having it. Something that I guess is also not really considered is that complaining about something can be a good conversation starter.
As Alex had pointed out, at work sitting down and complaining with your coworkers is a sort of a social bonding because you can relate to your coworkers. There’s also the added benefit of hearing other people complain and you can sympathize with their plight and in some cases get to feel better about yourself because their situation is worse than yours (though this is probably not very good for the one person who has the worst situation, unless the group ends up arguing over who’s more pathetic). Though that makes me wonder what it’s like for someone who is a CEO (Chief Executive Officer or Managing Director) who really can’t go complaining to his “co-workers” because almost everyone is under him except for maybe a CFO (Chief Financial Officer or Finance Director). When put into perspective though even CEOs answer to the board of directors (which would answer to the investors). Maybe they complain to their friends that are CEOs as well? Or maybe they don’t really complain much because they have to keep up appearances almost no matter where they go, even if it’s the hospital (the mental/physical health and personality/ideology of CEOs greatly affects the worth of companies) even conversations in passing can be framed and pulled out of context in the same way that media celebrities are followed around by their respective paparazzis.
Back to complaining, it definitely seems to be a social mechanism. When we complain we actually are able to do several things at once. We’re able to vent our frustrations/difficulties, get people to pity our plight, and communicate that there’s something wrong. Venting about our hardships tend to make us feel better. Getting people to pity our plight actually does 2 things for us, it makes someone feel sorry for us, but it also gets them to sympathize and in some cases even get them to help us. That’s probably the most powerful thing about it, is if we complain enough we can probably change our situation or even get help in some form. Sometimes complaining isn’t really just complaining it’s a voicing of the fact that we’re in such a difficult situation that we really can’t handle it, and it can be the first sign that something is really wrong. It’s also a better way of saying “I can’t do it,” in a corporate structure that’s probably not a good idea, but if one were to say something like “you know I’m so swamped with ______ and you want me to do _______” it may help the situation and it’s a rather elegant way of saying “I can’t do it.” I say elegant because the actual words one is using don’t suggest incompetence at all, whereas saying “I can’t do it” could communicate blatant incompetence which saves a lot of face.
Considering we’re social animals, communication is very important to us. We have many ways of communicating, oral being only one of them. Non-verbal cues however tend to be more telling of a person’s situation. If one were to over the time of working at a new job say; become more pale (well more pale than whatever their natural complexion is), have duller hair or other slight changes THAT would be a pretty prominent sign of genuine dissatisfaction of their work or some other change in life. There are a lot of more subtle signs the aforementioned actually are all linked to health and may not always show up but will definitely show up if it gets to a real low. Some of the more telling clues could also be about what we complain about, or even the way we act at work.
There’s this mentality that life is composed of work and play (I’m not entirely sure where this mentality came from or how it came about but I know that at least here in the US it’s a fairly common sentiment). Work is something that is never enjoyed and play is . . . well play is play. Work is also a means of feeding oneself (on a most basic level), and in a more expanded capacity to afford the luxuries that we feel we need/enjoy. Some people like to combine work and play by taking something like a hobby (or something they enjoy) and make it into work. This sometimes works for some people, more often though the sentiment (at least here in the US) is that once it becomes work it’s no longer enjoyable. Though to be honest I think that it comes down to the fact that when someone does whatever it is they enjoy they can take their time, do it at whatever pace they like and ultimately control when they do it. If they have to do it on a professional level, deadlines become very important and then stress creeps in, and we’re back to complaining or trying to find some other outlet. I’m not entirely sure how to make it so that we’re satisfied with work; I think it really depends on one’s goals. For many people happiness/satisfaction is linked with success but sometimes when we get to where we think we want to be, we realize we don’t actually want it. In my case, I’m only taking 3 classes and I’m auditing a class I’ve already taken (because the first time around I really didn’t understand much) and I’m also doing a research project (I’m a math major). I’m not actually working so I guess I’m kind of spoiled in that sense, but that also makes school assignments my “work.” I remember actually running into someone I hadn’t seen in a while and they said they wanted to switch to their major to get the exact same degree I’m close to obtaining. Thinking back, I’m never really satisfied with my assignments because they never seem to be good enough. I enjoy most of my classes and when I work on them can be . . . annoying. To put that into perspective one of my classes (this semester) takes up a minimum of 20 hours a week just on homework assignments (in actuality it’s near 40 and throughout the semester there was only one assignment I was fully confident in . . . and a number of my classmates think that I'm one of the 'smart kids'). Most of the assignments are something along the lines of given a statement, prove it’s true. In a way it is a lot like an English class, you make a claim (your thesis) and prove it’s true (writing the body of your essay). I remember my first reaction to this person telling me they what they had planned (about changing degree goals) was “It’s hard.” I told the person it’s hard, which I realized I never would have said about 3 years ago. Thinking back, all the grueling time spent trying to get things done, it takes up so much of my time and I remember my girlfriend telling me one time that when she tried to wake me up when I fell asleep I started actually babbling math to her (I have a feeling it was actually pieces of the proof of a statement that I was having trouble proving). I’ve learned a fair amount, but for the most part I’ve never been truly dissatisfied with any of the assignments given (only dissatisfied about the answers I provide). They mostly have been very interesting questions, or relate to some rather interesting things. Am I dissatisfied? I’ve no idea. So yes I would say it’s hard . . . and I’ve got hard path ahead but I’m not sure if I’m truly dissatisfied or even satisfied for that matter.
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